The Rebirth - May 8th

After 2 months of inactivity, where I honestly forgot about this whole exchange, xxxxx is back at it. Alright! Let's keep the fun going....


From xxxxx to me:

Hi Love,
Im sorry to ask....But what is your late wifes name?


Uh oh. Is she on to me? Is this a test?


From me to xxxxx:

Now you know this is a tough topic for me. Ever since she left, I don't repeat her name because she's with Jesus now and you never say his name (in vain, it was okay right there). If I did, she may come back and haunt me, and not in the good way where that person floats above your bed and you let them caress you with their silvery translucent fingers. Which reminds me, we should talk about that. I bought a lot of silver body paint and was hoping we could bathe each other in it and then reenact a seance and eventually make ghost love. Clearly the movie is an inspiration for me, but it goes behind that (ed. note- should have been "beyond that"). This is what she would want, and I'm hoping what you want too.

Which brings me to the question, why do you want to know her name?


From xxxxx to me:


Well because I recieved a package from a Ralph Wiggum today addressed to a Sissy Pastries C/O xxxxx... With Bday card to a Sissy! Sorry for asking.*

* I was going to say it's obvious I changed all the names for publishing's sake, but considering the level of ridiculousness between each of us, I guess it may not be obvious if you are reading this xxxxx.



From me to xxxxx:

Oh, that's okay. Sometimes I can be mean, and I apologize, it just that it makes me feel better about myself.

What is crazy ole Ralph up to this days? Last time he sent me a package, it was a 10 pound turkey that was just about fully rotted. So I guess it was only about 6 pounds by the time it arrived and the UPS box was clearly water damaged from the turkey juice.

I knew it was 10 pounds to start because it said it on the packing slip. I guess they forgot to send the ice packs with it. It tasted okay. All the doctors at the hospital said I was so lucky, but I wasn't sure what they meant. I was the one paying them.

Did you get a turkey too or something else besides the birthday card?

Stay warm and sweet and lovely and special and nice and beautiful


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